The Weekly Train Ride

For the last 10 weeks or so I’ve been making a mid week pilgrimage to Sydney to do a screenwriting course,and also a couple of blogging seminars. You see I’ve had this dream for as long as I can remember, from around the time I learnt how to read and write. I distinctly recall saying to myself with reference to the bible. “If the written word is the truth then one day I will write my own” or words to that effect. I dreamt of being a writer.

Like so many of us that’s where my dream remained, lost in a childhood memory. About 10 years ago whilst travelling around Europe I tried to make a start and that’s all it was. I wasn’t in the right place. I couldn’t remain settled enough to do anything worthwhile. Andorra, Spain(Ibiza),Ireland to name a few have a lot to answer for. But I still had my dream. It remained lost for another 5 years or until I attended my first screenwriting course, again it was only a start. The distractions of a so called “normal everyday” life drew me away from chasing my dream and back to reality. What was I thinking? Stick to what you know. Slug it out and you’ll be right. That may be so. Though for me what can be distinguished as right doesn’t necessarily equate to happy.

My day starts as normal around 6am I head off to the Servo(Petrol Station)Cringila first. I then go about dealing with the day to day grind of paying bills, chasing money,placing orders and generally dealing with any other issues that may arise. I then do this at my other site at Corrimal,time permitting.There are always dramas when running your own business. ALWAYS!

So around 3pm I jump in the car and drive to Waterfall Station from Wollongong. It’s at this point that everything changes for me. I am able to relax, I can have something to eat without being disturbed, I can catch up on some work or I can WRITE! I am chasing my dream.

Chasing your dream is not without its dangers. I have to contend with the dreaded “Hunchbackers”.They are as the name suggests a species that are relatively easy to detect as they are constantly haunched over, head down all focus and attention on an electronic device of some kind.They come in all ages,shapes,colours and sizes and the closer you get to the city the greater their numbers. Town Hall station at peak hour is almost a no-go zone for Straightbackers(me).The problem with being surrounded by Hunchbackers is that you can be overcome with an irresistible urge to take out your own electronic device, so as to not stand out from the crowd and maybe accidently engage in a conversation which would disturb the other Hunchbackers. A big NO-NO. I change trains at Town Hall I only have two stops to go before my destination. I am still surrounded but I know that I am close and I know that if I can make it to Wynard I’m home free because once we start to cross the bridge there’s nothing that’s going to stop me from looking out over the harbour. I often find myself being the only passenger looking out the window as we cross the bridge first gazing out towards the Opera House and then Luna Park. Regardless of the time of day or the weather it always looks amazing.

Once I land at Milsons Point I know that I am safe. I am closer than ever to my dream and the Hunchbackers have made way for Straightbackers going for an evening stroll,walking the dog or just going about their business.

Travelling to Sydney each week is only part of the equation for me, there are many others, diet and exercise to name a couple. They all work together and none are easy on their own. You need a co-ordinated effort in order to chase your dream and my weekly train ride is a small but integral part of that chase.

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View from writers centre. Not bad! Photo doesn’t do it justice.

Fill her up please.

Hello and welcome to my very first post. Most exciting!

About me and what I hope to achieve through this blog.

Antonio(Tony) Barea 40 year old single white male. Aussie born Spanish heritage. Never married. Yes I know this isn’t a dating service. Service station operator(two of them as if one wasn’t enough)part time screen writer, writer ,story teller,now blogger, depression  and anxiety sufferer(recovering),former regular binge drinker and gambler. I currently live at home with my parents although this hasn’t always been the case. Yes I can cook but I am currently not required to do so thanks to my caring Spanish mother.

Perhaps its just me,  but I’m finding that most people are looking for something…… something extra from life, from the day to day to grind,the way they feel physically, mentally, spiritually. I see it every day, people from all walks of life just waiting to be engaged to feel like someone has done that little bit extra to even just have a chat, a kind word, a smile.

On occasion I will fill one of my customers cars with petrol for them just like in the “good ole days.” The response I get is remarkable, and whilst it is only a simple act you get the sense that there is something deeper to this whole concept of doing something for someone even this simple courtesy which was once the norm. I get a buzz from it along with a sense of connection with my customers which is on a completely different level.

I want to share some of my experiences both past and present as I feel that by doing so I can help both male readers faced with similar difficulties that I have faced and also women who may have a partner, friend or relative that they would like to help or at least better understand.As a bonus I will also be able to let you know if and when petrol prices are going up or down.

I’ve undergone a complete transformation in the past 3 months. I went cold turkey from my anti-depressant medication Pristiq (thats a story in itself) I stopped drinking alcohol completely, stopped smoking which I had taken up again over the last 6 months after having been off them for almost three years. Reduced my three sometimes four double shot short black espressos a day to zero. Completely transformed my diet from a pizza,potato,pie eating monster to simply meat and veg(no potato) or bread. Iv’e lost approx 10kgs without lifting a weight or jumping on a treadmill and as a result I’m feeling better than I’ve felt in years. Physically and mentally.

But this journey is at its infancy and its important to mention that I haven’t got to were I am at on my own. I’ve been fortunate enough to have been able to engage the services of a life coach, Coach Dee, make that Super Coach Dee. I will share more of what I have been through with Coach Dee in future posts.

There are many steps involved in transforming ones state of being many of those are baby steps and require some assistance. In an effort to feel good about ourselves quite often it may just be the case of letting someone do something for you. Like fill your tank!